are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
