so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
