She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
