What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
