Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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