I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
