White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
