I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
If I die, sorry about rent.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
