he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
