i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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