at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
