he wants to bone in the snuggie
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
