if only i could text you this smell
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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