She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
