I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
