There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
