Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
