And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
