omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
