sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
