Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
