am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
