omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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