So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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