honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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