Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
She's the barista slut.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
