your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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