I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
