it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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