Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
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