pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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