spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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