It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
