True but thats because hes a fetus.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
