1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
