Me too!
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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