I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
