I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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