Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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