I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
