Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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