thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
