She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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