i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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