Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
