i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
