I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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