Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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