Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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