Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
